Milk & Manolos

Being the girl that loves a bargain I shall be hot footing in April to H & M when 60’s print designers Marimekko will be launching their range for the under 2’s. Sadly the Munchkin misses the age bracket, however as Tyra says, sometimes we have to suffer for fashion. With much deliberation I decided it thoroughly wrong to squeeze a growing child into clothes far too small for them, so have resolved myself to purchasing for the under 2’s only. With a round of second babies making their way into the world the timing is perfect.

With style icon Jackie Kennedy having given Marimekko the seal of approval way back in the day, what better way to start your sartorial journey.

My daughter is obsessed by all things Willy Wonka. So much so, I have the Oompa Loompa song imprinted into my brain, actually, make that branded into my brain. She trails around the house, when not whining about watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, humming what is slowing become her theme tune. When I asked if SHE was an Oompa Loompa, all I got was a tut and dirty look that only a 2 year old could give.

Every cloud has a silver lining, and it’s important I remember this. While we’ve been subjected to Gene Wilder doing his thing at least five times this weekend I now have all the ammunition I need to manipulate Madam into doing pretty much anything (evil cackle). She wouldn’t eat her lunch until I announced it was Willy Wonka Macaroni. Wolfed it straight down. A temper tantrum narrowly diverted by telling her that Willy Wonka wouldn’t like her to behave in that way. Wonderful. Thank Gene.

And the s-w-e-e-t-s ? While she drools like a St Bernard over the lollipops and sings like Bonnie Langford that “the Candyman can” we’ve managed to divert any demands.

Back in the day when I was still in knee highs, and enjoying Albion Market of a Friday evening, we had a house rule. The only sweets we were allowed were on Fridays, which were imaginatively entitled Sweetie Night. Dad would come home bearing two white paper bags full to the brim (or seemed to be) with penny sweets.

We have the same rule. Of sorts. The Munchkin, following a weeks worth of good behaviour is allowed on a Saturday morning only, to go with her Daddy to choose a lollipop at the local sweet shop. Never have you seen such happiness for 5 pence spent.

So it’s true. The Candy Man can, only just in moderation.

Having battled my way through 4 consecutive bad hair days, I’m ready to reach for the chocolate. One I can handle, par for the course surely, but four? Man alive, am I being punished for a previous sin ?

The one saving grace throughout the battle to tame my mane has been the everlasting loyalty of my super duper hairspray. When it comes to getting your hair out of the way and keeping in there, Bumble & Bumble’s Classic hairspray is your one stop shop.

Having Alexa Chunged my style, my otherwise wayward fringe is keep beautifully under control. Thank lord the days of Crystal Carrington hair is behind me. Loving the eighties as I do, that would be a step too far.

As a child of the eighties, my heart belongs to the ra-ra skirt. Now renamed for the Noughties as a ‘Ruffle Skirt’ I want this Honey, and I want it now. Teamed with wedge or flat sandals this is the perfect throw on summer skirt.

The only question that remains - can I bear to let the Munchkin’s sticky chocolate fingers near my Moschino (not so) Cheap and Chic friend ? With the Dry Cleaner’s just round the corner, hell, why not ?

A little over a year ago we were at lunch at a friends, when suddenly, from nowhere, an amplified voice started to groan and shout. To much hilarity the Munchkin had found my god-daughters Early Learning Centre piano. Within two shakes of a lambs tail she’d come over all Liberace and was tinkling the old ivories and singing (hmmm, I’m not sure we can call it that …) away like there was no tomorrow.

The minute we got home I hot fingered it to the ELC website and purchased her own, very spoilt little lady, piano, and it’s been worth every penny. While long gone is the groaning and shouting here to stay is the tuneful little voice that sings along to my piecemeal version of ‘Twinkle Twinkle’. I do miss the days of dodgy karaoke but am channelling very ounce of her musicalness into learning the piano.

Having recently been introduced to Key Skills Pianos I couldn’t help spread the word. How cute are these ?

Developed by Sharon Abbott an ex-concert pianist (retired at 13 ! See, they start em young) having spent many an hour searching high and low for a non-plastic, non-bosa nova beat piano upon which to teach her daughter the art of ivory tinkling, and she found nothing. Commissioning a carpenter and seeing a gap in the market, Key Skills Pianos was born.

In my endless pursuit of developing a well rounded Munchkin I’m dropping hints to Grandparents a go-go that there is a bean of talent there waiting to be nurtured. Of course, it could also be my chance to finally perfect Chopsticks …

The Summer holiday is booked, the wardrobe being planned. What to do with the Munchkin and her very lovely holiday companion, Lola Rose is next on the check list.

My agreement to a villa based holiday was that I’d get to spend at least some of the time by the pool, trashy book in hand sans any form of responsiblity whatsoever. Who was I kidding ? While there’s no doubting the that Husbands is practically heaven sent there are still going to be times when we’re going to have two bored little ladies on our hands.

I couldn’t help marvelling at what a genius idea Holiday Nanny is. The clue’s in the name …

Specialising in one or two week bookings for vacation time, I can’t help being sorely tempted. Particularly suitable for this type of holiday, when the cost (£ 425 pw) can be shared between two, or possibly three families.

Most definitely a number to jot down in my journal. It could come in very useful …

I can’t take any credit for the cleanliness of our house. The lovely Iryina arrives on a Friday morning to do her thing, and the rest is down to the Husband I’m slightly ashamed to say.

I tried desperately when newly married to be the dutiful wife, keeping the house spick and span. Unfortunately it wasn’t quite up to the Husbands OCD standards and I eventually grew weary of having him go over my elbow grease when I turned the other way. I thought he was just being nice when he said he enjoyed it but almost 9 years later I’m still waiting for that smile he has when armed with a jiffy and any manner of anti-bacterial spray to fade. Freak. Quite frankly, I’m much better at making a mess.

Occasionally, true to my Piscean traits, I feel the need to deep clean. When I’m in this kinda mood, it’s best that the house is evacuated and I’m allowed to be a whirling dervish for all of the 7 minutes I’m activated. It’s at times like this that Bicarbonate of Soda is one of my best friends (now who’s the freak ?).

Here’s just some of the ways our White Friend can help you out :

Baking soda on a damp sponge removes grease easily from the hob and back splash.

Particularly good for those with cats and dogs, or small children currently being potty trained, Bi Carb can also help with carpet deodorising, just sprinkle onto carpet before going to bed and vacuum in the morning.

Adds super sparkle to sinks, baths and toilets. Again, just rub on using a damp sponge and rinse.

Brilliant for cleaning pipes. Use one quarter Bi Carb to vinegar, pouring down the sink with some boiling water. The chemical reaction cuts through all the grease and dirt down there and leaves it smelling sweet.

It’s also really effective should you, gulp, have an ant problem in the summer. Sprinkle around cabinets and cupboards where you’re having the problem and it should deter our little friends from returning.

Having spent my life burning saucepans I know this one works. While still hot, add a solution of water and Bi Carb and allow to soak. Voila !

To minimise odours in your fridge, remove top from box of baking soda and place it on one of the shelves. It ain’t pretty but it sure is effective.

Afternoon Tea is the new Champagne and cigarettes for any lady who used to enjoy the latter. Gone are the days when come 4 pm on Saturday when the coterie and I would be found in a local watering hole with more than was good for us of both said components. While those days are mourned, small people simply aren’t compatible with the former. So along came afternoon tea instead. Well, it had been around for forever, I just chose to celebrate it a little more.

Tea Palace in Notting Hill is a great place to begin your love affair with such an old English ritual. At £ 17 a head ‘one’ (we are enjoying high tea after all) can enjoy a smorgasbord of finger sandwiches, cakes and scones together with a pot of one of the house teas. A fabulous way to spend an afternoon en masse, or to just enjoy a bit of ‘Me Time’ with the latest copy of Vogue, followed swiftly by a trip to Matches.

Roll on 3.30 pm …

A fortnight ago I was invited down to the marketing suite for a new private members club - Cupcake. Here promised a haven for all Mums and Mums-To-Be from the monotony of daily life. Exercise studios, a restaurant and most excitingly a crèche to hide the Munchkin away in seemed too good to be true. Demanding the Husband ‘work from home’ that afternoon, I hot footed it down to what I was sure was to become my new home. How bitterly disappointed I was to become.

At this juncture, I think I should add that the place is yet to open, and that I my have hideously have got it wrong, however being devotee of Private Members clubs I know a good deal from a bad one. For example, being a member of Soho House (at £ 900 a year) buys you access to THE Soho House in Greek Street, High Road House in Chiswick, The Electric in Notting Hill and to the newest member of the clan Shoreditch House. The latter boasts a roof top swimming pool, ten pin bowling, The Cowshed Spa and a Gym. That doesn’t even touch on the reduced rates for members at Babington House with their indoor and outdoor pools, spa and general gorgeousness.

While the concept for Cupcake is fantastic, I worry about the execution. For a cool £ 125 per month (a whopping £1,500 per year) you gain access to the club 6 days a week (”We’re closed on Sundays”) from 9 am - 9 pm. Equipped with two studios where pilates and yoga classes are to be housed, together for an area ‘with dumbbells’ - that’s the extent of the Gym. There’s to be a cafe and spa too (the latter ringing in at £ 25 for a half leg wax) though sadly no sauna or steam in which to perspire those troubles away. The exciting crèche facility caters for just 15 children (up to 5 years old) and incurs and extra charge of £ 6 per hour, per child. Bearing in mind that club membership will total 500 mothers and mothers-to-be I’m personally worried about the likelihood of actually being able to get the Munchkin in the damn thing. With no private parking (on street parking charges £ 2 per hour), and tucked a little out of the way for public transport, I can’t imagine that too much wine or champagne will be enjoyed on the premises.

I truly love the idea but can’t help thinking they’ve got it so very wrong. So hideously expensive for such little offered, I can’t help thinking we’d all be better served joining Soho House and running away to Babington House a couple times a year which could all be done before you even equate Cupcake’s annual levy.

You might like the sound of Cupcake. Proceed, but do so with caution.

My love of all things precious, and in particular sparkly, has had me trawling the internet for suitable baubles for my Spring / Summer Look Book.

Not usually being one for dangly earrings I couldn’t resist bringing you these beauties from Alexis Bittar. Beautifully simple and fresh these are sure to be a staple once the weather improves and we can finally scoop that hair up, rather than using it as a human scarf as I’ve done for the past three months.

The Daffs are here so not long to go …